


I Can't Lose You

by Horndog333



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 10x22, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Horndog333/pseuds/Horndog333
Summary: Steve realizes that he can’t lose Danny, too. Fix-it coda for 10x22
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 8
Kudos: 175





	I Can't Lose You

**Author's Note:**

> Sat. 4/4 - Decided to write my own fic before allowing myself to read others. Many people shared my opinions of the episode so I doubt mine is going to be very original. Let’s just say it was a wonderful episode until the end. 
> 
> It reminded me of the episode where Danny landed the plane on the beach and gave Steve his liver. It was wonderful until they ended it with Steve’s mean spirited comments and everyone ignoring Danny except his kids. Why ruin endings?!
> 
> Sun. 4/5 - Irritated cause I finished this and didn’t back it up! Rewriting and hope to post soon.
> 
> No money was made from the writing of this story. I do not own rights to CBS, Hawaii Five 0, its cast, writers or crew.

Steve hated Daiyu Mei. She had gone after the one person that meant the most to him. Danny was his partner, his best friend, and, unbeknownst to anyone, the love of his life. He would do anything and everything to save Danny including handing over the cipher in exchange for his life. Although Danny had told him not to, Steve would not make that mistake again that cost his father his life. Losing his father was one thing. Losing Danny was another. He would not survive losing Danny.

Steve knew that he would have shot Daiyu Mei had he not hesitated and Lincoln Cole arrived. Why did he hesitate? Those few moments had cost Steve his only chance at putting a bullet through her heart. She had nearly killed Danny. She deserved more than the prison sentence she’d get. She should be dead.

It was ironic that the beginning of their relationship took place sitting in the same chairs on his beach that he was now sitting in to say goodbye. Steve knew it wasn’t going to be forever, but Danny was carrying on like it was.

“So, you are really going to do this?”

“Yes, Danno. I am.”

“Alone? ‘Cuz you know I could come with you.”

“We’ve been over this already.” Steve was irritated. Why was Danny pushing it? Didn’t he know how hard this was already?

“Yes, I know but every time you leave, something always happens. Let’s face it you don’t have the greatest track record -Tokyo, North Korea, Afghanistan. Need I go on?” Danny wasn’t about to mention Montana or Mexico. That would be too cruel. Danny tried to pull off his typical snark or mini-rant, but he knew he wasn’t successful. He was too worried.

“Look, Danny, I need to be alone to think things through.”

“I think that’s part of the problem. You think too much.”

“Danny, I don’t know how many ways I can say it. I need space. I need to deal with the ghosts in my life - Freddy, Dad, Joe, the rest of my SEAL team, Doris - and your near death. I can’t do that here. Too many memories.”

“I get it with all the ghosts, babe, but what do I have to do with all of this?”

“Everyone I’ve ever loved and cared about leaves me. Whether it’s by death or by abandonment (in Doris’s case, both), they’re there and then they’re gone. I lose them.”

“But I didn’t die and I don’t plan on abandoning you. I’m fine, Steve. I’m bruised, banged up and stitched up, but I’m alive.”

“Danny, you were so close to dying. You didn’t see yourself.” Steve explained “They torched your car. I thought you were in there.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“Then when I asked her for proof of life, she turned the phone to face you. You were barely hanging up on that chain, face swollen and covered in blood I’ve never seen you beaten up that badly.

“I escaped.”

“But then you were shot. I found you lying on the floor covered in blood. I thought you were dead and I lost you. I can’t lose you, Danny. I can’t lose you too.” ‘Because I love you, Danny. I’m in love with you. If you died, I wouldn’t survive. I wouldn’t want to,’ Steve thought to himself. He was afraid to say it out loud because he didn’t know if Danny felt the same way. 

Danny had never heard Steve talk so much. “But look at me, Steve. I survived and I’m here. I didn’t die like the others.” It was then he looked at Steve, pale with unshed tears in his eyes.

“But you almost did, Danno. You almost did,” Steve was struggling to talk through his tears. 

“Where’s all this coming from? What’s going on in that head of yours?” Danny had no idea how his near-death experience affected Steve so much. Frankly, it scared him even more than when he saw him in Montana and when he went to meet him in D.C.

“Daiyu Mei was right about something. She said that she had taken the one person that meant the most to me and that’s you. I love you, Buddy.”

“I love you, too, Babe. I am worried about you, really worried about you. If you insist on going by yourself, can’t you just take a couple of weeks or so island hopping instead of going to the mainland or to some other country?”

“Danny, there are too many memories on the islands. I’ve got to get away.”

“What are you going to do? Roam the Earth in search of peace like the guy from ‘Kung Fu’?”

“Maybe?”

“Please, Steve. Please let me go with you. I’ll give you plenty of space. I just want to be there for you don’t do something stupid. You might just need someone to bounce things off on.”

“Danny, I appreciate it. I really do, but I can’t ask you to come. You can’t leave. Grace needs you. Charlie needs you. Rachel needs you. Five-0 needs you to be Second in Charge. Most importantly, you’re still recuperating. You need to get well. You are needed here.”

“Dammit. Grace is off at college. Charlie has Rachel and Rachel certainly doesn’t need me. There’s nothing going on between us. We’re not together anymore and we decided that this time it Is for good. We realized that we’re better off as friends.”

“Danny…”

“Okay. Then, promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me you won’t get into trouble. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. Promise me you’ll call. Promise me you’ll keep in touch even if it isn’t about the good stuff. Call me even when you’re having a rough time. Promise me you’ll come back and not ten years from now where I run into you on the street. Promise me you’ll come home.”

“I promise, Danno. I promise.” ‘I’ll think of you the whole time,’ he thinks to himself.

“You better.”

“C’mon. Come give me a hug.” Steve put his arms out wide inviting Danny to come in for a hug.

“You’re making me get up and use my cane.”

“Yes. You’re the one that keeps telling me you’re fine.”

Danny walks into Steve’s arms. Steve wraps his arms around him and rests his head on Danny’s shoulder. “I’ll be back I promise.” ‘I couldn’t leave you for long. I’d miss you too much,’ Steve’s brain supplied.

Danny feels his heart breaking.

Steve asks Lincoln for a ride to the airport. He doesn’t really know him so it will be easier to say goodbye. After giving each one of the ohana a hug, Steve slings his duffle bag over his shoulder, follows Lincoln to the door before turning around to give everyone a shaka. Then he is gone.

On the way to the airport, Steve makes small talk with Lincoln. “I never did ask you who figured out the cipher since your contact was killed.”

Lincoln looked at Steve sheepishly before answering. “Catherine. Catherine Rollins did. She said it was the least she could do for all the crap she put you through.”

“Yeah? Well, I guess I owe her a thank you,” Steve said.

“Where am I dropping you off? 

“United Airlines.”

“Domestic or International?

“Domestic.”

“What time are you taking off? Do you have enough time to grab yourself something to eat before boarding? Cuz that plane food is nasty.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, my flight doesn’t leave ‘til 5:00.”

“Good. That leaves you plenty of time to eat and hit the bar.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Steve says. “I’ll order my last Longboard for a while. Wanna join me?”

“Nah, man. I got some stuff to wrap up, but thanks.” Lincoln pulls up to the curb. “Take care. Hope you find what you are looking for.”

Steve opens the car door. He reaches out to shake his hand. “Thanks for the ride.” He grabs the duffel bag from the back and closes the door.

Steve regrets the Longboard he had at the bar. He couldn’t enjoy the taste because all he could think of is Danny. He and Danny sat at their chairs at the beach for a decade drinking them together. He really wanted to tell Danny he was in love with him, but he knows that he couldn’t have told him and then left. His heart wouldn’t let him. He would have stayed and that would have been bad because he wouldn’t have resolved anything, right? Or if he had taken him with him, that would have been selfish. He’d put Danny through enough already.

Steve boarded the plane and found his seat. As he gets comfortable, he pulls out the in-flight magazine to flip through it. After a few minutes, his cell phone dinged. He sees that it’s a message from Danny.

He reads the text.

D: “Miss you already.

And responds.

S: “Miss you too.”

He goes back to reading the in-flight magazine when he hears a familiar voice. “Hey. Can you scoot your giraffe legs over? I need to stretch out and make room for my cane.”

“Danno! How did you find me?”

“Lincoln told us which airline you were on and what time it was leaving. We looked at the outboard flights and checked the passenger lists.” 

Steve laughed. His ohana comes through again. He gives Danny a smirk before his face turns serious. “What about your recovery from surgery? Gracie, Charlie, and Rachel need you. You’re my second in command at Five-0. So many people depend on you.”

“Will you stop with that already?! First of all, I can recover anywhere as long as I’m not jumping from building to building, getting stuck under a parking garage or rescuing your ass in some undisclosed classified location. Second, I talked to Grace, Charlie, and Rachel. They know how I feel about you and how important it is for me to go with you. Someone’s gotta watch your back, Babe. You could get arrested or blow something up. Third, I’ve officially retired from Five-0. Lou is in charge. Remember what I said when you wanted out of the restaurant business?”

“If you’re out then I’m out?”

“Yes. So, if you leave then I leave.”

“Hey, Danno? What did you mean earlier when you said that Grace, Charlie, and Rachel know how you feel about me,” Steve asked quietly and carefully.

“Out of all the things I said, that’s what you got out of it,” Danny asked. He was deflecting and trying for his usual cocky sarcasm but it was coming out awkward and insecure.

‘Could Danny feel the same way for me as I feel for him?’ Steve thought.

“Danny?”

“I love you, Steve, and I don’t want to be without you. We are partners, you and me.”

“Danny, do you mean what I think you mean because I’m going to go out on a limb here. I love you, Danny. I am in love with you and have been for a long time. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn’t leave. Then I’d be stuck in my grief. I didn’t want that and I didn’t want that for you, for us.”

“I’m in love with you, too. I have been since we sat in those chairs by your beach for the first time. It was so hard for me to let you go not knowing when I’d see you again.”

“I’m glad you decided to come with me after all. You've always been there for me. You listen to me and help me by just being you.”

“You know you’ve become really good at expressing your feelings.”

“It’s all because of you.”

“Good, I’m glad. As for the ghosts, I’ll help you face them. We’ll do this together like we’ve done everything else.”

Steve felt hopeful that he’d get through this with Danny’s help. Then, he could move on in peace with his Danno back at the chairs by his beach and grow old together.


End file.
